Ways To Inculcate Values In Children To Make Them More Resilient- A Point-Wise Guideline For Adults By Shampa Chowdhury

                                   

1. First and foremost let's understand that there is no 'one formula' for instilling values in children .

2. The roots begin in the family but not everyone is blessed with that kind of a family and there are pathological families too.

3. Still those who are blessed can spread that blessing further by sharing their learning and experiences.

4. So when it comes to adults, it's very important to ascertain that the caregiver is high on E.Q., S.Q. and A.Q.  as most children learn by observing.

5. If we are trying to teach our children to be courageous, strong, confident and independent, we need to nurture them so that they can become so.

6. Praise is a vitamin for this .

7. So is the vitamin 'No'. Children must realise that they cannot have everything they want and as soon as they want it.

8. However we need to provide enough growth stimulants so that children can nurture their minds, bodies and spirits.

9. That is why it's important for them to play in the open , climb trees, cycle and fall, scrape their knees, fly a kite. When children fall down instead of rushing to help them get up we have to be matter of fact and let the child get up on their own. They will learn it's okay to fall. Later they will also learn it's okay to fail because through failure will come success and hope.

10. Hope is the key. It's the most important value. So constant dialogue for a person who is low on hope is important; for that person is likely to fall into depression, frustration, self harm and become suicidal or even commit suicide.

11. Empathy more than sympathy works wonders.

12. Helping children feel they are smart, special, kind and brave and accepting their unique personalities, will actually make them strong, resilient, hopeful, courageous, compassionate and teach them not only to cope with adversities themselves but also help others to do the same.

13. Spoon feeding has to stop, excessive pampering a strict no- no, value of money must be taught right from childhood.

14. So teach them to solve difficult problems by trying that one extra time.

15. Teach them to think things through- activities, challenges, emotions.

16 Grin, grit and bear- Help them develop humour, stamina, focus and ability to stay true to a goal .

17. Help them stay open minded so that they can deal with adversities and learn life does not run on formulas, that there will be unforeseen obstacles. So they should learn to be adaptable by understanding the circumstances in order to find multiple working solutions to a problem to turn it into an opportunity.

 18. Children also need to understand the value of being kind to their own selves instead of becoming martyrs, so that they can cope with stressors. In order to do this they need to indulge in activities that are fun, relaxing and related to their personal interests.

19. Developing the ability to welcome new challenges by helping them come out of their comfort zones by attempting a more difficult task, taking on added responsibilities,and embracing changes is important for becoming resilient. 

20. Learning from mistakes is another experience. A person who has never made a mistake has never learnt. So we need to tell our children that it's okay to make mistakes and no one is perfect. We improve through our mistakes. It's important to develop that " can do" attitude so that we make our mistakes our opportunities by self reflection and understanding of where one went wrong. This goes miles for developing a positive attitude which help children build up on resilience .

THE KEY WORDS FOR ADULTS ARE:

1. Unconditional love

2. Unconditional acceptance

3. Empathy

4. Patience

5. Kindness

6. Caring nature

7. Hopeful and positive attitude

8. Passion

9. Commitment

10. Faith in our own selves and our children.